Return Policy

The Unbreakable, Indispensable, and Absolutely Non-Returnable Product Policy

Thank you for purchasing our revolutionary, indestructible, and undeniably perfect product. We’re confident you’ll love it as much as we do.

Return Policy (Just Kidding, There Isn’t One)

Because our product is the pinnacle of engineering and design, it's virtually indestructible. However, if, by some cosmic fluke, your product does experience a catastrophic failure (like a meteorite strike or a nuclear explosion), please provide us with irrefutable photographic evidence.

Exemptions to Our Ironclad Policy

• Time Travel Devices: Due to the delicate nature of temporal mechanics, we cannot accept returns for time travel devices that have been used to alter the past.
• Mind-Reading Helmets: Misunderstandings about telepathic thoughts are not grounds for a return.
• Reality Bending Gauntlets: Altering reality can have unforeseen consequences. Please use them wisely.

Refunds and Exchanges (A Joke, Right?)

As a token of our unwavering belief in our product, we regret to inform you that we do not offer refunds or exchanges. Consider it a donation to the cause of innovation.

If you have any further questions, please consult your nearest fortune teller or time-traveling historian.